My Mind is Going: All the news that's fit to print

Right before I left my hometown to get a real job, the great debate raging was whether the taxpayers should build a new large pool or refurbish the library.

The debate went something like this "we need to think of our grandchildren".
Of course the citizens built a new pool.

Which is leaking.

And so is another pool, but it's old and has an excuse.

The pools each are losing about 2 inches of water each day, which means about 3,500 gallons of water is escaping daily from each pool.

And what the hell is a vice-mayor?

In other news, a Bush administration official is leaving his post due to extreme poverty.

I’ve already made it clear I’m not going to be able to go the distance, but that’s primarily for financial reasons. I’ve told people when my money runs out, then I’ve got to go.

He makes $168,000 a year, and I'm assuming gets free health care. Really, Really good healthcare. We oughta have a bake sale for him.

From the Hunt for Red October

Borodin: "Then I will live in Montana. And marry a round American woman, and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pick-up truck, or umm... possibly even... a recreational vehicle, and drive from state to state. Do they let you do that?"
Ramius: "Oh yes."
Borodin: "No papers?"
Ramius: "No papers. State-to-state."
Borodin: "Well, then in winter I will live in Arizona. Actually, I think I will need two wives."

Silly Borodin, not if he lived in the good 'ol USofA in 2008. Federal ID cards

... would be mandatory for all “federal purposes,” which include boarding an airplane or walking into a federal building, nuclear facility or national park, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff told the National Conference of State Legislatures last week. Citizens in states that don’t comply with the new rules will have to use passports for federal purposes.

Well, our government keeps screwing our soldiers. You know; not enough armor, health care, mental health care, armored vehicles. And not to be left out, they're screwing those who served before.

Korean War veteran Nyles Reed, 75, opened an envelope last week to learn a Purple Heart had been approved for injuries he sustained as a Marine on June 22, 1952.

But there was no medal. Just a certificate and a form stating that the medal was "out of stock."

"I can imagine, of course, with what's going on in Iraq and Afghanistan, there's a big shortage," Reed said. "At least, I would imagine so."

The form letter from the Navy Personnel Command told Reed he could wait 90 days and resubmit an application, or buy his own medal.

After waiting 55 years, however, Reed decided to pay $42 for his own Purple Heart and accompanying ribbon — plus state sales taxes — at a military surplus store.

And gents, this is called sexual harassment. And it's on tv even:

BURNETT: Well, they were part of the biggest increase in home ownership in this country that we've ever seen. I mean, home ownership's ticked up a few percentage points over the past few years, thanks to low interest rates --

MATTHEWS: Yeah.

BURNETT: -- and all those creative types of mortgages. And you could say that's a good thing, but, you know, Chris, I guess just to throw it out there and, you know, be provocative, but also ask a fair question -- you know, maybe not everybody is able to own a home. We like to think of owning a home as a right in this country.

MATTHEWS: Yeah.

BURNETT: It might not be.

MATTHEWS: Could you get a little closer to the camera?

BURNETT: My -- what is it? Is it zooming in strangely?

MATTHEWS: Come on in closer. No, come in -- come in further -- come in closer. Really close.

BURNETT: What are you -- what are you doing?

MATTHEWS: Just kidding! You look great! Anyway, thanks. Erin, it's great to -- look at that look. You're great.

BURNETT: I don't even know. I'm going to have to go look at the tape here. I'm in a strange location.

MATTHEWS: No, you're beautiful. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. You're a knockout. Anyway, thank you, Erin Burnett.

BURNETT: All right, Chris. See you later.

And just how in the hell can they improve on this classic?

Since 2002, we've heard about Howard Stern's remake of the cult-classic film Porky's - and now it appears the movie has been greenlit and is ready to shooting as early as this Fall.

This just ain't right.