All the news that's fit to print

Oh those damn pesky, free thinking teachers! Some of them aren't really pleased with the bonuses the state of Alaska awards for increasing test scores. They had the audacity to refuse the bonuses.

At the meeting, the staff decided to donate the bonus money from the state to nonprofit organizations or to districtwide education initiatives.

“Most felt that (the money) should go to other schools,” Short said.

She said reaction by staff ranged from embarrassment over being selected to anger that the state would assume a few thousand dollars would motivate the teachers to do a better job.

---

Be proud, very proud of your law enforcement and city leaders in New Haven, CT. They used a lot of resources to determine that the powder and arrows spread by two white people from Germany were not a nefarious Al-Qaeda plot to sicken or kill everyone in IKEA. They were just members of a running club marking the running path. They had done this in other cities without a problem. But the IKEA shoppers must be a vigilant lot:

Police fielded a call just before 5 p.m. that someone was sprinkling powder on the ground. The store was evacuated and remained closed the rest of the night. The incident prompted a massive response from police in New Haven and surrounding towns.

The city is seeking restitution from the couple to pay for the resources used in over-reacting responding to a situation:

You see powder connected by arrows and chalk, you never know,” she said. “It could be a terrorist, it could be something more serious. We’re thankful it wasn’t, but there were a lot of resources that went into figuring that out.

Maybe New Haven is too close to Boston. I don't remember my geography and am too lazy to look it up. But the hysterics similarities are similar.

---

Oh I know, those Boston and New Haven folks are full of the same Einsteins that have determined that propane tanks on farms are terrorist targets. Not unscanned cargo ships, rail stations. Nope, propane tanks. You know them Al-Qaeda types are tricky. But this tricky?

In 28 years of raising chickens, Virgil Shockley has had his share of worries, from bird disease to pollution. But nothing prepared him for the latest concern sweeping the poultry industry: Local farms could be deemed terrorist targets by the U.S. government.

"Out here?" Shockley exclaimed, gesturing across a rutted dirt road from his home on Maryland's Eastern Shore, toward six long metal sheds filled with birds.

But nestled in the grass between his sheds are rows of large propane tanks, used to heat the chicken houses. They fall under regulations recently proposed by the Department of Homeland Security for the chemical industry. Like many others in the $1.6 billion Delmarva poultry industry, Shockley can't imagine that a propane tank could pose a threat in that rural area.

"Hell, if it blows, you've got barbecued chicken!" he said.

---

And along the same vein (why does the dueling banjos music start up in my head as a right this?). The state of Oklahoma wants everyone to know that Oklahomans can proudly display their support for the GLOBAL WAR ON TERRORISM by purchasing a license plate.

---

Hey, looks like Walmart is continuing to screw, oops, I mean burn their customers.

Well, after wearing them my feet would be red and sort of tingly, but I figured that it was just because it was first flip flops of the year so my feet need to get used to them. Blabity blabity... Well I have now had this chemical burn for 11 days, (As of July 3rd) I really thought it would just go away on it's own. It is absolutely going away very well at all...this started on June 22nd 2007 and has just gotten worse basically. I have only worn those shoes 15 minutes here, half an hour there, hour there...and so on, NOT enough time to burn my feet like this!

So you'd think Walmart would have pulled them from the shelves? They do have a very sophisticated IT system. But alas, another injured party states:

I have the same EXACT condition that Kerry Stiles has, and Fox news did a story regarding the Sun and Sand flip flops last night filed by another lady here in Texas. I purchased the shoes at Walmart in July... I, unlike Kerry, wore the shoes a mere 2 hours.

A woman by the name of Ginger Edwards from Walmart headquarters in Bentonville called me initially back in July and wanted the shoes so they could test them and informed me that I was the 9th case reported, note that was in JULY. I emailed her pictures of my feet but I did not mail the shoes. I chose instead to use my better judgment and held on to the flip flops as EVERYONE at Walmart has given me the impression that they are completely apathetic to my problem. I or my son, visited Walmart daily after having complained IN PERSON after visiting the doctor the first time back in July and having showed them my feet, and the shoes remained on the shelf until last week!!

For more info on the Kerry's very nasty problem, and walmart's response, go here.

---

And on a lighter note, Keith (and frankly everyone else) re-enact it so you don't have to

---

And to close, Amanda Marcotte says what many probably think:

The TV is tuned to ESPN, and of course, they’re doing a sob piece grasping for some way to draw a connection between Virginia Tech’s football team playing football and the tragic shooting last spring. God, lit candles, school spirit, it’s all very grotesque. I wish that just once during one of these sob pieces trying to create a relationship between a sporting event and some senseless tragedy, someone would say, “Well Tragedy X taught me that there is no god, the universe is indifferent to human suffering, and life has no outside meaning, so it’s up to us to make our own meaning. Which is why I like sports.”

But of course, that would violate about 15 different unspoken rules about how the TV makes meaning out of tragedy, so even if anyone said it, it would never get on air.